Wednesday, January 29, 2014
How to Cook A Bronco
As a barbecue caterer, I can confirm that there will be no work done on Friday, because offices everywhere are having parties, many of them catered by me. We have begun stockpiling wings, remembering the wing crisis of '05.
While I can't add anything to the conversation about the defensive line or quarterback match ups (though I do think Richard Sherman was totally misunderstood in that interview and unfairly skewered by the media. It was simply a Howard Dean moment where the crowd and his energy from making the play of his career didn't match the noise-reducing mic.), I can offer a cooking perspective.
We've gotta barbecue those Broncos.
It's not going to be easy: Bronco meat is tough. I suggest cooking them slow and low, rubbed with a good amount of spice, and finished with a glaze in the last 30 minutes.
Here is my recipe:
Spice: Pepper them offensively to shut Peyton Manning down. Sack him, attack him and rattle him if you can. Spice them completely - underneath all the hype, Bronco meat is pretty bland.
Low: Make a low, consistent fire. You want overall heat, rather than high flames in one area. Persistent and grounded heat will keep down the jitters of being at the Super bowl.
Slow: The only way to break down the sinews of Bronco meat is to cook it slowly, relentlessly. Focus on each yard, making those first downs, and completing each pass. This process will tenderize the connective tissue of the Bronco. Now it's time for the glaze.
Glaze: Once the Bronco meat is tender, finish them off with some zing in the last 30 minutes of cook time. Glaze them with plays like that amazing 35-yard pass by Russell Wilson, Marshawn Lynch's 40-yard touchdown, or Richard Sherman's intercepting tip that sealed our win against San Francisco.
We know you have it in you, Seahawks, and we are behind you all the way.
Me? I'm clearing out the smoker ashes, stacking up the wood, and getting ready for the feast on Sunday.